France Fights Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast
France's response to anti-Frenchism in the US
Dateline: 1 April 2003 APRIL FOOLS!!
In an impressive show of vitriol against the recent American renaming of "freedom fries" and "freedom toast," French president Jacques Chirac fights back. At a press conference moments ago, Chirac presented President George Bush with a severe list of demands:
- The United States is required to return the Statue of Liberty to France by 30 June,
so that Mademoiselle Liberté's crown and torch can be replaced with a
beret and baguette in time for Bastille Day celebrations.
- English and American tourists in France will be required to speak English, as
France has decided that listening to an ugly language is better than
listening to assorted broken versions of her own lovely one.
- English speakers can no longer use French expressions like déjà vu,
carte blanche, à la mode, and je ne sais quoi; they must be translated
into English.
- All of the thousands of English words with French etymologies must be eliminated
from English.
- McDonald's in France must change its name to DeGaulles and begin serving filet mignon and Coca Gallique.
Poisson d'avril ! April Fools!
Did I get you?
Hopefully you gathered that this was simply an April Fools joke, but just in case, I will clarify: this has not happened nor, to my knowledge, will happen. This is a joke and I mean no disrespect to anyone from any country or culture.
| Legitimate information :-) |
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