À la une : French Finance Minister François Baroin made an unscheduled appearance on TF1's Le journal de 20h last night to announce that France can no longer afford to remain part of the euro. Claire Chazal, the host of France's most popular news program, was visibly shocked throughout. Citing many difficulties, including debt swap, national bankruptcies, and fear that the term GIPSI could become FIGSIP (« très moche » dit-il), Baroin unveiled a radical new plan for France to withdraw from the troubled euro zone. President Sarkozy and high-level ministers had considered a return to the franc, but decided creating a brand-new currency would have more of an impact.
France will launch the new currency on its own, gradually making it available to other French-speaking countries that meet stringent criteria, including
Final details will be ironed out after the second round of presidential elections in May, since a win by François Hollande, the Socialist candidate who is polling well despite being trop vilain to ever become president, might lead to additional concerns. But if Sarkozy maintains his seat, the doulaire will make its world début in one year, on April Fool's Day! Poisson d'avril ! Je t'ai eu ? Did I get you? If you made it this far without catching on to my little joke, let me assure you that there's no such thing as the doulaire and, as far as I know, France has no intention of withdrawing from the euro. However, during the last election a friend of mine did insist that Hollande is trop vilain to be president; we'll see if he's right next month. Have a great day!
Addendum: I'm so glad you all enjoyed my little joke - as you can imagine, I had a lot of fun writing it. The best part was coming up with all of the different currency names. Did you notice that each one included at least a hint of a word related to money? Here's how I "coined" them (ha ha):
France will launch the new currency on its own, gradually making it available to other French-speaking countries that meet stringent criteria, including
- National debt of no more than 3% GDP
- Unemployment of less than 8%
- Participation in French agricultural subsidies
- Purchase of one bottle of wine or water per citizen per week, à prix d'ami
Final details will be ironed out after the second round of presidential elections in May, since a win by François Hollande, the Socialist candidate who is polling well despite being trop vilain to ever become president, might lead to additional concerns. But if Sarkozy maintains his seat, the doulaire will make its world début in one year, on April Fool's Day! Poisson d'avril ! Je t'ai eu ? Did I get you? If you made it this far without catching on to my little joke, let me assure you that there's no such thing as the doulaire and, as far as I know, France has no intention of withdrawing from the euro. However, during the last election a friend of mine did insist that Hollande is trop vilain to be president; we'll see if he's right next month. Have a great day!
Addendum: I'm so glad you all enjoyed my little joke - as you can imagine, I had a lot of fun writing it. The best part was coming up with all of the different currency names. Did you notice that each one included at least a hint of a word related to money? Here's how I "coined" them (ha ha):
- sarkozèpe - French president Sarkozy + the verlan of pèze (familiar, like "dough" or "bread" in English)
- hexagognon - France's nickname Hexagone + pognon (familiar)
- francofric - franco + fric (informal)
- argentine - argent with a suffix
- doulaire - douleur (get it? the painful relationship) + "dollar" with a weird French pronunciation, as if spelled dollaire
Comments
Poisson d’avril!
You had me at first (and oh how I wish they would go back the Franc).
Boon weekend! – j’utlise tes ressources de plus en plus pour mes cours de francais! Que t’es super chouette!
C’est très bon, le doulaire! Après avoir été avec toi pendant des années, j’étais prête pour le premier d’avril
Cou cou d’Angers, où je passe une semaine avec ma nièce.
APRIL FOOLS!
Yes you had me at first as well, but very good! Bon dimanche tous les mondes!
Wow, what a news! Merci! I am in Asia and understand this is very bad for almost European countries, but this news is surprising since I think France is the powerfull country there hand in hand with germany
Poisson d’avril!
Oh boy! That was a good one. At first I lived in HOPE (getting rid of this destructive Euro)!!!
The suggestions about the name for a new French currency had me laughing loudy when I realized what you were up to.
Well done – I love it!
Anyone heard the thing on radio 4 bout TREADMILLS FOR PENSIONERS IN THE POST OFFICE SO THEY CAN EXERCISE before they get their pensions ????? Poison d’Avril par tout ajourdhui…..!
Très agréable! Poisson d’avril!
Bon dimanche tous les mondes!
LOL..C’etait drole..
Je savais dès le début – je ne suis pas un poisson d’avril!
OK you got me!!!!
Hadn’t even realised it was April 1st!
tres bon fait. quelle humeur!
Rigolo! Very funny joke… you had me to start with until the names of the currency came…. I do hope Julie rereads the blog before running off to spread the news….
As in Sarah’s case I only twigged when the proposed names of the new currency was mentioned.
You had me going at the start as a you could almost believe that Sarkozy would be daft enough to suggest it – like closing the borders. He’s desperate to take the headlines off Merkel!!
You really had me there. I was shocked.
Vieilles nouvelles. En Australie, nous avons entendu hier.
Got me! I was so excited.
Bon poisson d’Avril!
J’aime tellement le “doulaire” ca vas três bien avec ‘la douleur”.
J’ai avalè le poisson d’avril !
Vous m’avez eu! J’ai commencé à avoir des doutes quand vous avez parlé du vin qu’on serait obligé d’acheter chaque semaine. Très bien fait!
C’est breaking news en effet! Car nous n’avons jamais reçu deux bulletins d’information dans les deux jeux.
As I read on my curiosité kept increasing even at the unserious sarkozep proposal. LOL
U had me till doulaire…
Vous m’avez eu Madame!!! Chapeau à vous.
J’y ai cru au debut.Bon travail de poison d’avril!
LOL… Vous m’avez eu, madame,, c’est tres interessant…
Ha Ha….ok you go me for a while
LOL! J’aime ça!
Me too……I was busy working out how it would affect my bank account! My suspicions were aroused with the wine quota…far too low! Well done, good fun!
You had me Google-ing everything!! Very funny. Poison d’Avril!!
Poisson d’avril, jajajajaja
Facile que vous avez fait me l’avaler. Car j’aime bien toutes sortes de poission! Surtout comme ca. Bien fait!!
Vous m’avez eu! Je me disais “doulaire”? C’est bizare. It must be very “painful”.
Me got, hook, line and sinker!
Oh my god — my first April Fool’s of the day…LOLOL! I did stop at the line – ‘buy wine or water’ but then thought, “Oh those crazy French — they want to increase their wine sales.” Good one, Laura!
poisson d’avril! You had me hastily reading the rest of your post…bien sur! I shared it…but…we’ll see who believes…..
Nothing seems impossible these days though.
Laura, fascinante ! J’ai hâte de lire l’année prochaine.
Mon Dieu!…Oui, le poisson d’avril…I was hooked…until I read others’ comments…rigoler en haut (REH)…o en espanol..riendo…..
Mignon ce poisson, mais le doulair c’est genial. Mes eleves qui apprennent l’anglais le prononce assez bien, merci. Mais, le vin, la …
)
j’ai bien ri
Monique
You had me until the one bottle xof wine per week!
2nd time today, et une femme chaque fois, nom de Dieu! At least I got on to this one after “Sarkozepe”. Bravo!
” Doulair” wow, Vous m’avez eu.
Hollande is trop vilain to be president…. I thought that was the ” poisson
d’Avril”
Very well done Madame, I love reading your paper. Thank you for your hard work.
On ne regrette pas d’etre un bon poisson d’avril!?
Told my Dad “The shocking news”….he laughed!! Damn it! Guess I’m the fool!
Laura: Vous m’avez pris à nouveau. Surtout le jour étant un dimanche, quand je ne m’attendais pas à recevoir votre Newsletter à tout moment sauf le mardi ou le vendredi. Vous êtes vraiment un “trickster”.
Vous pouvez convaincre les citoyens de Menton au cours de leur Fête du Citron, que les citrons ne sont pas vraiment les citrons, mais les noix de coco au lieu jaune.
Merci pour le rire sincère.
Brilliant! The names also got me lol!
Laura you got me! I cannot believe it! hahaha I was just telling someone and now I shake my fist at you!
Bon poisson d’avril!
LOL! You got me! Never been in many years! ‘doulaire’ sounded funny and it made me laugh! What a name for a currency!
Excellent!!
Furthermore, I have just hear Germany is switching to the Merkelmark !
C’est vrai !!
I fell hard…ibut learned a new expression: Poison d’avril!
Très bien fait! I read the first line, then read it aloud to my husband, THEN noticed the date. Got me! Thank you for starting my day with a smile.
Et un grand poisson à vous, en retour!
I had to bang my fist on the table on this one. It’s the first time I’ve fallen for an April One. I’m a fool for the day!
You had us going here in Sonoma County, CA as well!!
I read your first line and thought “Oh my, really?!” Then I remembered being April fooled last year by your story about the new dietary laws for restaurants. A quick glance at the date on my computer desktop confirmed my suspicion that I was about to be fooled again!
I loved the possible names for the new currency!
vous me blague!
ah d’accord…c’est le premier d’avril….
Merci
Au début, oui. Mais, après quelque phrases (surtout les noms qu’on a rejeté), j’ai pensé au 1 avril. Très bien fait, alors ! Brava, Laura !
Very good !….If only it were true…….
Really fooled me…I’ve had to write several email apologies to friends & colleagues.
..but I’m not embarrassed…..it was so well done. I wonderif the BBC have done anything for April fools day ?
Loved it! Même que je n’ai pas été eu, c’etait un très drôle histoire. How do you keep coming up with such great stories every year?!
What does cou cou mean?
Merci pour tout Laura.
C”est chic, ce poisson d’avril.
If this is true,then they should just go back to calling the currency the franc again.If it is an April Fool’s joke,then that’s too bad because I thought France pulling out of the Euro was a brilliant idea!
I meant pulling the euro!I just forwarded this to my husband and you had him believing it,too.
O là là! I rushed to see if other news sites were carrying this bombshell! What a scoop! And then I finished reading . . . well done!!!
Je l’ai beaucoup aimé.
Felicitations! Pour ma part c’etait quelques moments de panique.
The sad part is that probably in the not too distant future this is going to happen if there are anymore problems with the euro.
Mdr !
Yes, you had me at first; up until I saw “Francofric” – I doubt that would have gotten approval, considering the fact that slang and official documents don’t mix.
I’m passing this along to friends who aren’t on your list.
ayant lu ces nouvelles, je me suis rendu compte qu’il est le premier avril aujourd’hui at nous sommes tous poissons d’avril! Moi, je preferais le doulaire, c’est juste!
Eve, I think cou-cou means “pee-bo” as when you pop up somewhere to entertain a small child!
Quel poisson d’avril ! J’ai bien rigole”
Haha ya got me Laura!! xD I was just about to announce the news to my college french class! Mon Dieu!
you should have heard me!! I was moaning all the time through the reading. I kept saying: C’est pas vrai! Quelle idiocie!!. And all those names.. I never thought -once- that it was an April Fool joke. Never!! Quel soulagement à la fin de la lecture. Merci. Ce n’était qu’un cauchemar…..
hahahaha, c’est trop drole!
Wow!! I was shocked — thank god it was only April Fool’s Day !!!
I thought it sounded strange but didn’t get it unitl the end. LOL.
So Glad you got me.. been holding Euros so I could celebrate my birthday in France this year.. haven’t been back since 06 and that was gonna be my way back.. using the EUROS!!!!! So, glad you dished up a good Poisson d”Avril.. Abientot.. JC
Incredibly lovely.
Thanks for all of your comments, I loved reading them!
I just added some info about how I created the currency names to the end of my article, if you’re interested.
I actually almost believed the story. It seemed so real. You are good!!
Brilliant! Haha. Very cleverly done – you totally had me & I’m so disappointed that its not true! Merci LKL
Your joke was good, but here in Australia it’s the 2nd April!
That was a good one! But I thought it seemed a bit fishy (har har) from the beginning. Well, that was mostly because I knew it was le premier d’avril. Maybe I should finally get rid of my euros, though. You never know!
seriously,you had me.i thought it was reallyb true.good poisson d’avril
In the beginning I asked myself what was the relationship between your lessons and news? I said, maybe you would give us a piece of news in French and explain it or highlight the important words, but I did not imagine that was just a joke Poisson d’avril !, anyway I learned something new in French. Thank you for your efforts and sense of humor.
=P
Considering that I live in a french territory, I was wondering how I missed this one! Great joke!
This is the first I’ve heard of this. I agree with going back to the original franc.
Up to your same old tricks. But as George Bush says:
“Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice………..can’t get fooled agin!”
Ha! I was waiting for you…. I got you at the headline on the frontpage and clicked it with a big grin.
Great fun as always. I think you had me cold last year, so: one-all.
Nice. I’m reading this a few days after April 1. I was halfway through before I caught on.
Oh boy! Now I will have to informe everyone it was only a joke!
Ah mon Dieu! Je disais a mes etudiants comment le posson d’avril est d’une dimension incroyable en France! Quel exemple extra a leur donner des notre rentree! Bravo.
I loved your added explanation that I see now. It has to be the best written April Fools note I’ve ever read! Although it was the names of the currency that tipped me to the joke, I still think they were wonderfully clever and the whole article stands superb!
I have shared it with friends across the globe all to their delight as well!
Merci beaucoup !
LOVELY!!! Have been very busy this month, just thought of catching up on my French learning…. Yeah, you got me totally, mainly coz i’d totally forgotten bout “le poisson d’Avril”. Thanks for the smile Laura.